Double Features

The Double Feature: you buy a ticket for one movie, and then time it so you leave one movie right as another is beginning, so you end up seeing two for the price of one. As far as schemes go, it's about as dastardly as eating a few grapes at the supermarket for free, but hey! It's how I've been spending my weekends lately. Here were the last three I did with the roomies:

The Bourne Ultimatum + Sunshine

One thing to consider, when doing a Double Feature, is the order in which to see the movies. I generally find that if there's one movie you're really amped to see and one you're just kinda meh about, go see the one you're excited about. By the end of a double feature, it's not uncommon to have a kinda Styrofoam-feeling in your head, the sense of watching huge images dance around for a bit too long. Bourne was a whole bunch of fuck yeah, really just a perfect summer movie -- fast and quick and just complicated enough to convince me I was seeing something somewhat weighty, when in reality I was just watching a standard action thriller. Sunshine was great for the first third or so, especially in really instilling a sense of fear and danger about the sun, but quickly devolved into retardation, where I spent a while wondering, "What the fuck is going on? Is Freddy Kreuger the sun?"

Spiderman 3 + Transformers

Another thing to consider when doing the Double Feature is that there needs be a nice sense of balance in the two movies, one complimenting the other. This pairing failed; it was like eating a Whopper followed by a Big Mac. Different, yes, but essentially the same thing. Spiderman 3 was all right, and the action sequences were at least good for letting my brain go slack and watching Spidey punch people in the head, but Transformers was just a big ball of disappointment. I let the trailers fool me into thinking it would awesome, and while there were a few moments of "oh my fuck" thrown in, for the most part Michael Bay's hypershaky camera style just meant I couldn't tell what the hell was going on in fight sequences. And yeah, Shia LeBeouf is gonna be a massive movie star, but forty minutes of him bumbling his way around a girl is not what I wanted to see in Transformers.

Hostel 2 + Ocean's 13

YES. This is what I'm talking about when I say a Double Feature. It's like two things that shouldn't work together, say, peanut butter and onions, but if you give them a shot you realize they were almost meant for each other. To go from the hypergore of Hostel 2 in which a guy literally gets his junk scissored off to the easy breezy boy's club of Ocean's 13 is like rolling in the snow and then jumping into a hot tub. It's such a whipsaw cinematic experience, we left the theater with a kind of giddy weirdness, and my dreams were of Eastern European bank heists and Ellen Barkin bathing in Matt Damon's blood. The Double Feature by which all other Double Feature's will be measured by.